Consider yourself warned :
1. This is a long post
2. I am not a good writer
3. English is not my 1st language
4. there is only 1 photo in this post
.
.
.
.
Ok..I would love to see how many of you started reading this post, and
then after nr. 4, how many actually stayed on the page...
*pours some coffee*
This is one of the numerous posts I have written/edited/revisited/re-edited
and then abandonned on the draft folder.
Why you may ask? Well, because of nr. 2 and nr.3, I m
affraid you will think I m either crazy, or a
complete fool, or an idiot,
or boring to death, or you will think to
yourself "did she actually write this???".
But this time, I just felt I owe it to myself to click the publish button.
I know only a few of you will actually read this, and I just
don't care really if you will think less of me; not anymore anyway.
So, for those very few who might have decided
not to run away, because I love you and because of nr.2, I will cut straight
to the chase.
*deep breath*
Ok. For the past year or so, I have been
told, quite a few times actually, that
my shop/creations are "all over the place".
I think I fully understand what "all over the place" means, but because
of nr. 3 I can not be 100% sure about the feeling of this
phrase. you know what I mean?
It would be so great if you did.
See? I could have said lovely, but great is another word, with
another feel to it.
It's more intense than lovely.
You get it now?
Anyway....I guess the phrase means, that I do not
have a cohesive looking shop, that my creations
are not distinctive, that they
do not have that special recognizable niche, style.etc...
I was really hurt. Even though I m sure
their intentions were good, all this had me
losing hours of sleep feeling lousy with myself.
Feeling incompetent, talentless, boring, just not enough...
Quitting was/has been and still seems like a delightful option
every time I find myself in this state of mind.
The truth is though, that my shop IS "all over the place".
My creations are a mix of various styles....
If you look at the photo below you will too say this:
I go from mimimal, to a bit bohemian, to a bit of
a gypsy style, then the pearl earrings are the elegant part,
then to colorful fun and playful, and then
to bohemian and colorful once again.
There is silver, gemstones,pearls,copper,enamel and some
beading! hello??!?!?!
Heh. My shop looks like a freakin' department store..
the only cohesive thing about it, is the white background
made with repurposed-by moi-wooden crate...
LMAO!!
*stops laughing*
Thing is, I have always admired people with a great talent
in something. Those who excell in making/singing/creating/painting sth with their
own individual/recognizable magnificent style...and sticking to it.
I always admired their greatness.
And always felt short for not having it.
People like me, have small talents.
Can do really well in many things, but never excell in anything.
I am a good singer, a good piano player, a good crafter.
But not a great one at anything of the above.
One day I was thinking about talent and how
it is like the jackpot.
You either earn big time, or
small prizes.
And, as we all know, jackpot is not
something really frequent for most people...
Small prizes are.
*drinks some more coffee*
Before you start thinking this is a "boo hoo" post
all about "please make me feel good about myself"
I will say it loud and clear...
I LOVE love love what I make.
I love each and every little thing I have created with
my own hands.
Simple or more intricate, inspired or not, perfect or mediocre,
I love every inch of every single piece.
I have come a really looooong way.
I ve had many crying days and many smiling days
through much trial and error.
Through success and failure.
So, yes, maybe I will never be the designer with
the *wow f****** awesome* designs.
And maybe I will never find a niche.
But, this is who I am.
I love minimal design, but I love me
some bohemian style as well.
I love the gypsy look, but I do
admire elegance.
And I do love colors and playful designs
and fun designs.
*coffe is over.a refill?*
....however, this is an ongoing battle.
A never ending one.
There are days I feel satisfied with myself
and there are those dreadful days
I almost pity myself for my lack in greatness.
There are days when loving your pieces
is simply not enough to overcome the horrible
feeling of not being great.
Those days, quitting seems like the only way out;
out of mediocre, of boring, of not good enough.
It really is an ongoing battle.
I think I will not tire you any longer with my
awful writing...
I am not sure, even now as I read this again, how I would
like to end this post...
I do not feel hurt anymore when I am told
this kind of thing.
I ve come to terms with it :)
Thank you, whoever you are who actually
took the time to read this ramblings of mine.
J
